One Key to a Successful Marriage is Great Communication

  • Published
  • By Chaplain Steve Rogers
  • 189th Airlift Wing Chaplain's Office
When we fight wars, we usually know who the enemy is we are fighting against in the war. We may not always be able to recognize the enemy in the Middle East these days because they do not wear conventional military clothing. Sometimes they are disguised and dressed like us or made to completely blend in with society. The enemy has a name and we know a lot about the enemy, whether it is the Taliban or Al Qaeda.

Our marriages have many enemies and we do not always recognize these enemies. One of the main marriage "enemies" is poor or minimal communication.

Communication is a huge part of any great marriage. With consistent, daily and open communication, most marriages will excel when the communication is combined with other essential ingredients to a good marriage. For example, when we are asked how our day went and we sum up the entire 8-12 hour day with one word or a few words, such as "good" or "it was okay." That is usually not the right amount of communication for our spouse!

Whether it is with good communication, talking about finances, being honest and faithful to our spouse, meeting their needs or a host of other important aspects of marriage, having a good marriage takes daily work. Marriage can be fun just as dating was fun. The fun or the dating does not have to stop when we have been married for a few years, but sadly does in many marriages.

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your wife or husband?

When was the last time you served or loved them even when they hadn't done the same to you or really didn't "deserve" it? A good marriage can become a great marriage with consistent, meaningful communication but it must involve daily conversations, not weekly, monthly or zero conversations. Your spouse wants and needs to be treated with love and respect. When we do not share good communication, we are showing a lack of love and a lack of respect for our spouse.

God knew we all needed love and He told us a great deal about love in 1 Corinthians 13 and throughout the Bible. The greatest love manual in the world is the Bible. If you don't believe me, read and study chapters in the Bible such as 1 Corinthians 13. Then read the Old Testament book called the Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon or Song of Songs, as it is sometimes called, is a book which will get everybody's attention.

Solomon was the "wisest man that has ever lived" and that man knew how to have a conversation with women! No communication problems in Solomon's house, he was a conversation superstar.

God has given us an awesome roadmap for marriage and great communication through the Bible writers such as Solomon, Paul & certainly through Jesus Himself. But that Roadmap only helps if we read the Bible and apply the lessons found there to our marriages and all aspects of our lives.